Tonight ended the most grueling, fight for every set band camp I've ever been to. Yet, it was also the most incredible experience and possibly the best band camp i've ever been to.
I walked in on rookies day and thought to myself " Being a leader means doing the uncomfortable thing" I was determined to take this to heart with the rookies. The very first day, as we introduced ourselves, played games, and made it to lunch, I tried to make a point to say hi to rookies, to look at their name tags and great them by name. When lunch time came around, as I sat in the band room with maybe a dozen other people, I decided to talk to some of them. Most of the conversation was as simple as " How's it going so far? " or "how was your lunch? what did you have?" but it was something, and it was out of my comfort zone.
The weird and awesome thing is this though, the more I did it throughout the week, the easier it got. The less uncomfortable it became and it just started to happen naturally. I didn't have to muster up the questions or conversation starters, I just chatted with them. When I was fitting the band with uniforms, instead of just throwing them coats and pants, I asked them how band camp was going, what they liked, didn't like, etc. I think it also set the week up to be great or me. There was a much friendlier nature, and as i actually goofed around and joked with these kids who i'd only known for a few days, it was FUN. I don't know if it was mindset, going out of my way to be better, or the fact that I have an awesome set of people in my section this year that made the difference, but it was incredible! We actually did things as a section, we chatted, helped the pit, did the lunch and dinner thing, it was a good time.
Another awesome moment happened when this one kid was just having a time of it with marching. Foot timing, getting the slide position, hitting the dot, finding the dot, it was rough, and then around tuesday, it's like everything finally clicked and he was marching in time, finding his co-ordinates, and making the forms. He was so proud of the work he put in, and I was so happy and proud for him! It's not "great" yet, but I'm so excited to see where this season will take him, as well as our whole band.
The rookies that we got this year are absolutely incredible! This show was a beast to learn and put together and the attitudes stayed really positive the whole week. I mean we got the whole thing down, and music mostly memorized by Thursday. The whole vibe for this band is on fire and ya'll better watch out for 2014 CCSU Blue Devil Marching Band. We're on fire and we aren't going out!
More philosophical thoughts to come after sleep, coffee, and some contemplation.
Friday, August 22, 2014
Monday, August 11, 2014
The end of an Era
Today, the world lost a wonderful actor/comedian, and from all accounts, an incredible man.
I rarely get sentimental over the loss of hollywoods finest, but tonight, one of hollywoods last class acts is gone and that brought tears to my eyes.
Robin Williams has always been a part of my life. From Aladdin to Man of The Year, i don't think there is a Robin Williams film I haven't seen or enjoyed. His work made you think, Yea, there was always laughter, good humor and cheer in his films, but there was also a depth that brought out the true humanity in the situations. People will say it was just a script, that anyone could have done it, but it's not true. Robin Williams made his characters come to life. You could feel his laughter, feel his sadness. It was like for that 2 hours on the screen, he opened the window to the soul of this fictional character and invited you in.
I remember watching "Dead Poets Society" and it was the first film i'd ever seen that inspired me to teach. I periodically watch it now as i go through my schooling to remind me of why I want to be a teacher. I want to inspire, I want to care, I want to ignite a passion for learning, I want my students to think on their own, I want to be Mr. Keating.
The sad thing is that they will drag his name through the mud because of the manor in which he passed away. I find it sad really, that he spent his life bringing laughter and joy to everyone, and he eventually succumbed to his own private hell of depression and sadness. It really is heartbreaking that he didn't know how to live in the world he created for so many others. I hope, and I pray that he is finally at peace and I hope he knew how greatly he has touched and inspired so many lives.
I rarely get sentimental over the loss of hollywoods finest, but tonight, one of hollywoods last class acts is gone and that brought tears to my eyes.
Robin Williams has always been a part of my life. From Aladdin to Man of The Year, i don't think there is a Robin Williams film I haven't seen or enjoyed. His work made you think, Yea, there was always laughter, good humor and cheer in his films, but there was also a depth that brought out the true humanity in the situations. People will say it was just a script, that anyone could have done it, but it's not true. Robin Williams made his characters come to life. You could feel his laughter, feel his sadness. It was like for that 2 hours on the screen, he opened the window to the soul of this fictional character and invited you in.
I remember watching "Dead Poets Society" and it was the first film i'd ever seen that inspired me to teach. I periodically watch it now as i go through my schooling to remind me of why I want to be a teacher. I want to inspire, I want to care, I want to ignite a passion for learning, I want my students to think on their own, I want to be Mr. Keating.
The sad thing is that they will drag his name through the mud because of the manor in which he passed away. I find it sad really, that he spent his life bringing laughter and joy to everyone, and he eventually succumbed to his own private hell of depression and sadness. It really is heartbreaking that he didn't know how to live in the world he created for so many others. I hope, and I pray that he is finally at peace and I hope he knew how greatly he has touched and inspired so many lives.
"Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old time is still a-flying:
And this same flower that smiles to-day
To-morrow will be dying."
Old time is still a-flying:
And this same flower that smiles to-day
To-morrow will be dying."
One of my favorite scenes from Dead Poets Society.
RIP Robin WIlliams. Thank you
Saturday, August 9, 2014
Standing Outside The Fire
For the past week, I've been posting countdowns to band camp on our band FB page, and tonight's post " 7 DAYS TO ROOKIES, 8 DAYS TO BAND CAMP!"
7 days to rookies. 7 days to fight the fear of failure. 7 days to the start of my last season with the Blue Devils Marching Band. 7 days to uncharted territory.
This coming Saturday will mark my 2nd year as the clarinet section leader in the Marching Band. It's funny really, I became section leader, and then found out that none of the clarinets from the previous year were returning. Now i was a section leader for a group of total strangers. I was terrified. They were gonna see through my poor clarinet skills ( I had 1 yr playing experience to their years of high-school and posssibly middle school experience), They were gonna think I was an awful leader, they weren't gonna like me, our section was gonna be a mess and Dr. Heller would think I was incompetent. All these things running through my head convincing me that I was going to fail. My friend Rachel saved my sanity so many times that semester, that I may never be able to repay her. There were bumps, there was a problem member or two, but by the band banquet, life was good, we had all survived, and Dr. Reynolds ( yes, in the course of the season Dr. Heller got married, That was a great rehearsal!) did not think I was a failure. Best of all, I didn't think I was a failure.
Fast forward to this year, and I get the roster for clarinets for the 2014 season. NONE of the clarinets are returning members. Out of 8 clarinets, only I was returning. Considering that all of last years members were freshmen, I was flooded with thoughts that I had screwed up big time and had done my part to creating a bad experience for them. I've talked to them all, and every one of them had other reasons for not being in band this year ( schedule conflicts, jobs, etc) but there is that little voice in the back of my head that says " You are responsible for them leaving"
Flashback..
I remember my first year in the marching band, we did an exhibition show and the UMass Marching Band was also there in exhibition. 397 members. There was barely enough room of the field for all of them. They literally took my breath away. At the end of their performance, a group of us from CCSU sat there and decided to high- five them all as they walked off the field. I legit thought my arm would fall off by the end, but I was on a high like I have never experienced. I was having visions the whole ride back to school of the CCSU marching band being there someday.Me and my friend decided that night we wanted to try and get our band to triple digits by our last season. With this in mind, losing 7 people from my section alone was a sad blow to my dream.
Which brings me to " 7 days to fight the fear of failure" no, our band will not be in the triple digits for my last season, but I do believe that in the near future, it will be in the triple digits. If anyone can bring that out, Dr. Reynolds will do it. She has a fire in her that i've never experienced. I want to help in the dream of triple digits. There are 9 incoming clarinet rookies this season, I want to do everything in my power to make sure they stay next season. I want to be that band person for them that makes band the best thing about their semester. I want band to feel like home to them, like it felt to me. I want them to tell their friends it's a great place and that they should join, I want to be Santa.
I've been thinking about it non-stop since getting home from DMA. I've been thinking about the new set of tools I have to help me be a better section leader, the be a more supportive section leader, but today, as I sat looking through band photos to pick my daily countdown picture, I realized the word that was missing from my vocabulary. Friend. I want to be a better FRIEND, be a more supportive FRIEND. If it's gonna feel like home, they've gotta feel the trust, love, and safety that comes with being in a family. This is the thing that freaks me out. My own home has had it's less than stellar record of lacking those family essentials, and I, myself, have found it hard to trust people and to make a lot of friends. Even in my band of 60+ people, there are 4 who i regularly talk to, hang with, trust with anything personal. How am I going to be this trustworthy, safe person for my section? For others in the band? This is uncharted territory for me. I've never made friends quickly, or easily, even with people i've known for a while. I need to just let go of it all. Let go of the control, find the trust and allow myself to be a friend to those who are incoming rookies, and maybe even give a stab to solidifying relationships with returning members.
This is my last year as a CCSU Marching Blue Devil. There is no chance for a do-over next season. There is here, there is now, and there is a legacy to leave behind. My first season, I had a terrible experience with my SL. I will remember that for the rest of my life. I don't want to leave that as my legacy. I want to be the friend, the person who made band a fun place to be. I want to be a reason for people to come back, not a reason for them to leave. When I come back on alumni day, I want to say " Hey Rookies! Welcome to Sophomore year!" I don't want to walk in on alumni day, look at the clarinets and go " Where are they?" I want the clarinets to be glad to see me. I want to look not at my rookie squad, but to look into the faces of my friends. This is the task for MB 2014. This is the person I'm gonna work to be.
Here's to senior year. Here's to my final season. Here's to the best season this band has had yet. Let there be memories to warm my thoughts for years to come.
"7 Days to old friends, new friends and so many new adventures."
So, I don't understand the Wolves, but the lyrics to this song are worth listening to. One of my favorite motivational tunes.
7 days to rookies. 7 days to fight the fear of failure. 7 days to the start of my last season with the Blue Devils Marching Band. 7 days to uncharted territory.
This coming Saturday will mark my 2nd year as the clarinet section leader in the Marching Band. It's funny really, I became section leader, and then found out that none of the clarinets from the previous year were returning. Now i was a section leader for a group of total strangers. I was terrified. They were gonna see through my poor clarinet skills ( I had 1 yr playing experience to their years of high-school and posssibly middle school experience), They were gonna think I was an awful leader, they weren't gonna like me, our section was gonna be a mess and Dr. Heller would think I was incompetent. All these things running through my head convincing me that I was going to fail. My friend Rachel saved my sanity so many times that semester, that I may never be able to repay her. There were bumps, there was a problem member or two, but by the band banquet, life was good, we had all survived, and Dr. Reynolds ( yes, in the course of the season Dr. Heller got married, That was a great rehearsal!) did not think I was a failure. Best of all, I didn't think I was a failure.
Fast forward to this year, and I get the roster for clarinets for the 2014 season. NONE of the clarinets are returning members. Out of 8 clarinets, only I was returning. Considering that all of last years members were freshmen, I was flooded with thoughts that I had screwed up big time and had done my part to creating a bad experience for them. I've talked to them all, and every one of them had other reasons for not being in band this year ( schedule conflicts, jobs, etc) but there is that little voice in the back of my head that says " You are responsible for them leaving"
Flashback..
I remember my first year in the marching band, we did an exhibition show and the UMass Marching Band was also there in exhibition. 397 members. There was barely enough room of the field for all of them. They literally took my breath away. At the end of their performance, a group of us from CCSU sat there and decided to high- five them all as they walked off the field. I legit thought my arm would fall off by the end, but I was on a high like I have never experienced. I was having visions the whole ride back to school of the CCSU marching band being there someday.Me and my friend decided that night we wanted to try and get our band to triple digits by our last season. With this in mind, losing 7 people from my section alone was a sad blow to my dream.
Which brings me to " 7 days to fight the fear of failure" no, our band will not be in the triple digits for my last season, but I do believe that in the near future, it will be in the triple digits. If anyone can bring that out, Dr. Reynolds will do it. She has a fire in her that i've never experienced. I want to help in the dream of triple digits. There are 9 incoming clarinet rookies this season, I want to do everything in my power to make sure they stay next season. I want to be that band person for them that makes band the best thing about their semester. I want band to feel like home to them, like it felt to me. I want them to tell their friends it's a great place and that they should join, I want to be Santa.
I've been thinking about it non-stop since getting home from DMA. I've been thinking about the new set of tools I have to help me be a better section leader, the be a more supportive section leader, but today, as I sat looking through band photos to pick my daily countdown picture, I realized the word that was missing from my vocabulary. Friend. I want to be a better FRIEND, be a more supportive FRIEND. If it's gonna feel like home, they've gotta feel the trust, love, and safety that comes with being in a family. This is the thing that freaks me out. My own home has had it's less than stellar record of lacking those family essentials, and I, myself, have found it hard to trust people and to make a lot of friends. Even in my band of 60+ people, there are 4 who i regularly talk to, hang with, trust with anything personal. How am I going to be this trustworthy, safe person for my section? For others in the band? This is uncharted territory for me. I've never made friends quickly, or easily, even with people i've known for a while. I need to just let go of it all. Let go of the control, find the trust and allow myself to be a friend to those who are incoming rookies, and maybe even give a stab to solidifying relationships with returning members.
This is my last year as a CCSU Marching Blue Devil. There is no chance for a do-over next season. There is here, there is now, and there is a legacy to leave behind. My first season, I had a terrible experience with my SL. I will remember that for the rest of my life. I don't want to leave that as my legacy. I want to be the friend, the person who made band a fun place to be. I want to be a reason for people to come back, not a reason for them to leave. When I come back on alumni day, I want to say " Hey Rookies! Welcome to Sophomore year!" I don't want to walk in on alumni day, look at the clarinets and go " Where are they?" I want the clarinets to be glad to see me. I want to look not at my rookie squad, but to look into the faces of my friends. This is the task for MB 2014. This is the person I'm gonna work to be.
Here's to senior year. Here's to my final season. Here's to the best season this band has had yet. Let there be memories to warm my thoughts for years to come.
"7 Days to old friends, new friends and so many new adventures."
So, I don't understand the Wolves, but the lyrics to this song are worth listening to. One of my favorite motivational tunes.
Friday, August 1, 2014
Thoughts on my experience with DMA
notes from my journal while at DMA:
7/28/14
Today completed the first full day of DMA here at UMass. For those of ya'll who don't know, DMA stands for Drum Major Academy. Drum Majors are the guys and gals who stand up in front of the marching band and help to keep them in time, help motivate them, help at rehearsals etc. This place is a camp where these High-school students come and learn the things necessary for becoming a good Drum Major.
This is the part where you're going all saying " WAIT! You're way beyond high-school!"A major thought repeatedly running through my own head as well. How'd I end up here? Well, it's a good story.
It all started with a friend who had attended during high-school, and me thinking it sounded like a cool place to volunteer to work. Well, on the application, you needed a recommendation letter from your current band director ( mine just HAPPENED to be one of the staff members of the GNP drum major academy). After chatting with her, she suggested that I attend as a student before trying to work there, as she felt it would be more useful to attend as a student before volunteering. I was like " But, I'm VERY in college, are you sure this is cool?" She repeatedly assured me it would be perfectly ok to go as a collegiate and that I would have a wonderful time.
So, anyway, sunday AM, I threw my stuff in the car and head up to UMASS $530 poorer and with the worst chest cold (ok, bronchitis) I've had in many moons. The whole drive up there I questioned my genius idea. I kept thinking " I'm 27 years old and I'm gonna be dorming with like a 15 or 16 year old who probably has a better clue of what is going on than i do. I got my room assignment, a nice single with no other roommate. I was torn between ecstasy and frustration. Ecstasy at not needing to share a room and an introverts nightmare of having to make small talk, while being sad that i wouldn't have at least that one person i'd know. We split up into squads that night and i LOVE my squad and squad captain. She also happens to be a twin and she is also the tomboy of the pair just like me. Basically, a perfect set up!
Last night we ended our session with a John Denver tune and my heart started to warm to the thing that is DMA. The warmth faded briefly with an 11pm fire drill, but it wasn't gone for long.
7/29/14
Today was certainly more intense as even before breakfast, mother nature was throwing world series style curve balls. Rain, thunder, lightening, hello morning! The day continued, the rain came, the sun came, the thunder came, but tonight we got to practice a lot of footwork and military style maneuvering ( which happens to be the sugar fix for this band geek). Before the end of the night, we had a meet up in the auditorium. I had gotten there at the end of the line, but not wanting to miss anything in the back, I went to sit in the empty section of chairs up front where no one else was sitting. I didn't care, I wanted to see and hear it all. Anyway, Heidi, the speaker/director was like " what are you doing over here all by yourself?" She then tried to find me a more inclusive seat but we settled on my current seat being good. The next thing i know a group of the IMPACT team ( college volunteers) all came up and sat with me. I was a little embarrassed, but then realized what a kind and selfless gesture it was! This beautiful gesture was followed by a short film about a kid named Bill who was a student years ago, a student who put my own attention to detail and procedure to shame. Come to find out, Bill was blind and couldn't see a thing he was doing, but he was ALL in. It was a real sock in the gut for me because here i was complaining I was too old, or I had bronchitis, or it was hot, and here is Bill, who loved it all and fought twice as hard as i'll ever have to fight for success here. Tomorrow will be a new day and I will not let it pass by wasted. From this moment right before our 11pm lights out forward, I will aim for 110% of my best, because why bother with less than all the ability you have?
" One more day when time is running out for everyone
Like a breath I knew would come, I reach for a new day.
Hope is my Philosophy
Just needs days in which to be
LOVE OF LIFE MEANS HOPE FOR ME
Born on a NEW DAY"
Tonight's closing song/thought. The King Singers " You are the New Day"
7/30/14
Today we wrapped p the last full day at DMA. I really don't know where to start here.
We started the day with Dr. Tim and boy what a way to start!! The man was incredible and really gave me a lot to think about in regards to meeting people, first impressions, and being a leader. After dinner, we played some march off games and headed inside. OH BOY! Let's just say there was a 400 person conga line going around the auditorium.
Heard some stories and thought about who I want to be. The analogy used was Santa. Yes, Claus. Basically saying you go through stages in life 1) believing in Santa 2) not believing in Santa 3) being Santa, and 4) letting someone else be Santa for you. I really want to be santa for someone! What a wonderful gift , to be able to fill someone's heart with that kind of belief! It is a true priviledge.
There is just so much more I want to say, but it's light's out and tomorrow truly comes too soon!
With Pride!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was an absolutely incredible 5 days that I will never forget. I learned things about myself this week that will impact my life for the better for a long time. I know i've learned things about myself and about leadership that will certainly help me be a stronger, more supportive section leader than last year, and I'm looking forward to an incredible senior year with the CCSU Blue Devils Marching Band.
7/28/14
Today completed the first full day of DMA here at UMass. For those of ya'll who don't know, DMA stands for Drum Major Academy. Drum Majors are the guys and gals who stand up in front of the marching band and help to keep them in time, help motivate them, help at rehearsals etc. This place is a camp where these High-school students come and learn the things necessary for becoming a good Drum Major.
This is the part where you're going all saying " WAIT! You're way beyond high-school!"A major thought repeatedly running through my own head as well. How'd I end up here? Well, it's a good story.
It all started with a friend who had attended during high-school, and me thinking it sounded like a cool place to volunteer to work. Well, on the application, you needed a recommendation letter from your current band director ( mine just HAPPENED to be one of the staff members of the GNP drum major academy). After chatting with her, she suggested that I attend as a student before trying to work there, as she felt it would be more useful to attend as a student before volunteering. I was like " But, I'm VERY in college, are you sure this is cool?" She repeatedly assured me it would be perfectly ok to go as a collegiate and that I would have a wonderful time.
So, anyway, sunday AM, I threw my stuff in the car and head up to UMASS $530 poorer and with the worst chest cold (ok, bronchitis) I've had in many moons. The whole drive up there I questioned my genius idea. I kept thinking " I'm 27 years old and I'm gonna be dorming with like a 15 or 16 year old who probably has a better clue of what is going on than i do. I got my room assignment, a nice single with no other roommate. I was torn between ecstasy and frustration. Ecstasy at not needing to share a room and an introverts nightmare of having to make small talk, while being sad that i wouldn't have at least that one person i'd know. We split up into squads that night and i LOVE my squad and squad captain. She also happens to be a twin and she is also the tomboy of the pair just like me. Basically, a perfect set up!
Last night we ended our session with a John Denver tune and my heart started to warm to the thing that is DMA. The warmth faded briefly with an 11pm fire drill, but it wasn't gone for long.
7/29/14
Today was certainly more intense as even before breakfast, mother nature was throwing world series style curve balls. Rain, thunder, lightening, hello morning! The day continued, the rain came, the sun came, the thunder came, but tonight we got to practice a lot of footwork and military style maneuvering ( which happens to be the sugar fix for this band geek). Before the end of the night, we had a meet up in the auditorium. I had gotten there at the end of the line, but not wanting to miss anything in the back, I went to sit in the empty section of chairs up front where no one else was sitting. I didn't care, I wanted to see and hear it all. Anyway, Heidi, the speaker/director was like " what are you doing over here all by yourself?" She then tried to find me a more inclusive seat but we settled on my current seat being good. The next thing i know a group of the IMPACT team ( college volunteers) all came up and sat with me. I was a little embarrassed, but then realized what a kind and selfless gesture it was! This beautiful gesture was followed by a short film about a kid named Bill who was a student years ago, a student who put my own attention to detail and procedure to shame. Come to find out, Bill was blind and couldn't see a thing he was doing, but he was ALL in. It was a real sock in the gut for me because here i was complaining I was too old, or I had bronchitis, or it was hot, and here is Bill, who loved it all and fought twice as hard as i'll ever have to fight for success here. Tomorrow will be a new day and I will not let it pass by wasted. From this moment right before our 11pm lights out forward, I will aim for 110% of my best, because why bother with less than all the ability you have?
" One more day when time is running out for everyone
Like a breath I knew would come, I reach for a new day.
Hope is my Philosophy
Just needs days in which to be
LOVE OF LIFE MEANS HOPE FOR ME
Born on a NEW DAY"
Tonight's closing song/thought. The King Singers " You are the New Day"
7/30/14
Today we wrapped p the last full day at DMA. I really don't know where to start here.
We started the day with Dr. Tim and boy what a way to start!! The man was incredible and really gave me a lot to think about in regards to meeting people, first impressions, and being a leader. After dinner, we played some march off games and headed inside. OH BOY! Let's just say there was a 400 person conga line going around the auditorium.
Heard some stories and thought about who I want to be. The analogy used was Santa. Yes, Claus. Basically saying you go through stages in life 1) believing in Santa 2) not believing in Santa 3) being Santa, and 4) letting someone else be Santa for you. I really want to be santa for someone! What a wonderful gift , to be able to fill someone's heart with that kind of belief! It is a true priviledge.
There is just so much more I want to say, but it's light's out and tomorrow truly comes too soon!
With Pride!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was an absolutely incredible 5 days that I will never forget. I learned things about myself this week that will impact my life for the better for a long time. I know i've learned things about myself and about leadership that will certainly help me be a stronger, more supportive section leader than last year, and I'm looking forward to an incredible senior year with the CCSU Blue Devils Marching Band.
This is Squad 1. My completely AWESOME Squad! l-r Rocky, Me, Jessica our Squad captain, kevin, Nathan, and Andre
Here we have the CCSU Crew at DMA plus the director at DMA
l-r Back row: Trevor, Dylan, John Leonard, Me, Kate C, Rob Hammerton, Matt
l-r Front: Heidi Sarver, Dr. Reynolds and Staluppi!
I will never forget this week for as long as I live, and I look forward to the day when I can send my future band Drum Majors and Section Leaders to DMA. It really is a life changing experience.
Together. In. Out.Back.Frozen. Up. WITH PRIDE!
Eyes With Pride!
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